Things That Matter to Me, Part II: Four Pieces of Jewelry

I do not wear jewelry very often simply because I’m so active and it gets in the way or gets lost or broken. For my second post in the “Possessions That Matter” series, however, I will write about four pieces of jewelry that I love and why.

The Gold Bracelet

I inherited this bracelet from my paternal grandmother Avis, with whom I had a very close relationship. I had never seen her wear the bracelet. My aunt decided that I should have it. I remember when I pulled it out of the little blue velvet bag, my first impression was that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It is hard to capture its beauty in a photograph - you have to feel its weightlessness and pliability to really appreciate it. 

I do not know where it came from, although I am certain that my grandfather bought it for my grandmother as she never would have purchased something like that for herself. They had the most beautiful relationship, loving each other passionately until they left this earth. So the bracelet also carries with it the love that they shared. I have only worn it once that I can recall - at my wedding in Paris.

The Turquoise Bracelet

I received this bracelet as a gift from my boyfriend at the time. After his grandmother passed away, he and his mother selected this bracelet for me to have. I had never met his grandmother, but I loved his mother. It meant so much to me not only that they wanted me to have it, but that they wanted me to keep it even after our relationship ended. I’m really glad that they did, because it is something that I actually wear. I love its delicacy and its provenance. He remains a good friend, so when I look at it now, I am reminded of kindness and the friendship that can come even from the most chaotic of relationships (which it certainly was). And I think of his sweet mother.

The Watch

My parents surprised me with this gorgeous watch upon my graduation from law school. I knew nothing about watches, and I certainly did not know how much I would need one as a young prosecutor. They put thought into this gift, choosing to get me the stainless steel version because it was less flashy (and because I love steel). I love its “timeless” style, simplicity, and how cool and comfortable it feels against my skin. More than that, it matters because it reminds me of my parents’ endless support for my ambitions in life.

The Wedding Band

The wedding band holds a different kind of importance to me. For a long time, it reminded me of the symbolic promise that I made and had every intention of keeping. After my husband left me, it symbolized hope that we would be able to work things out. When I eventually accepted that was not going to happen, I removed it from my finger and wore it on a chain around my neck. When I was finally ready to let go of him emotionally when I was in India, I decided that I would throw it in the Seine in Paris on my way home. But when I got there, I couldn’t do it. I cannot explain why. It really wasn’t any sort of attachment to him; it was just this feeling that it wasn’t the right thing to do at that moment. So, I stopped wearing it on my neck, but I held on to it for some reason.

Several years later, when I was living on Saipan, I became very close with one of the young survivors of abuse that I worked with. After her case was closed, she and her cousin would come over to my house to paint or watch movies and play with the dogs. Over the time that I knew her, I got to see her overcome what happened to her. Like so many of the survivors I have worked with, she became an inspiration to me. 

Shortly before the time came for me to return to the mainland, the girl told me that the hardest thing for her to move past was the fact that, until he abused her, her abuser had been “a good uncle.” She had adored him, which made what he did to her so much greater of a betrayal.

Having not suffered from the kind of abuse that the girl had suffered from, there was not a lot about her experience that I could relate to personally. But I understood betrayal. A few days before I left the island, I handed her a chain necklace with a ring hanging on it. I told her that it was my wedding band, and I wanted her to have it for three reasons. One, to remind her that she is not alone in feeling betrayed by someone she loved. Two, because the shape of the ring itself reminds us that, no matter what happens in our lives, we must keep going. And three, to remind her that she mattered to me and that I would always hold her close to my heart.

The ring is one of my favorite possessions because I gave it away.